Words...

STOP!

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say to me (or about me) can & will be used for or against you in or on my blog. If you are a hater it will continue to be inside of you because my beauty is something you will never understand. I will not stop succeeding because I'm happy and God has truly blessed me. So get back & be quiet!

The above may become my new disclaimer when dealing with some persons who have let this very small blogger stomp on a few of their corns. (I wonder what will happen when I publish my memoirs?) Its funny how someone who doesn't come from a 'regular' family has such a way with words. In fact for someone very ordinary I seem to have a way of stirring up the nest.

*These words are my own> from my heart...* Natasha Bedingfield

I realized as of late that if no one else would be true to me & my words it would have to be me. Unless otherwise stated I- Natasha Rufin pledge to speak/write words I can & will stand behind. Too often people expect you to defer your opinion to someone older as a sign of respect. That is not respect- that is platitude. I will not placate anyone by being seen & not heard.

I also realized that people can read what you write and it goes completely over them. They take things you may wonder about to be actual beliefs, they read to find a hole so they can break your walls down- while never answering the questions that you pose. But why didn't I remember that Christ said that this would happen?

I often 'wonder' (again here I go with my perusals) to myself:
- Why do some persons think that to be respectful is to not question their authority? God allows us to reason with Him (Isaiah 1:18); and many persons in the Bible have questioned Him or asked for a sign.
- Do they know me? Which the answer is always no. They don't know me, they only see photos, see blog posts and hear about the things I've gone through. They don't know what has and will continue to make me tick.
- Am I respected? This I'm not sure of but then again does it matter if I am? Are the persons who disrespected me going to be played closely in my life? Have I allowed such persons to play closely in my life before?

In high school (and school in general) I was extremely shy about making new friends. The only place I tried not to be shy in school was in the classroom & especially in my option classes where I was the only girl (the smurfette so to speak). This equated to the girls in my homeroom that I was stuck-up & snobby. I didn't get it because I was always so helpful with them, I tried to talk when I could- but mostly I think it was my standards & refusal to do what they wanted me to do (and what they did) that made me a snob.

I feel like it is the same today as it was in high school. I am not going to change who I am to make another person/persons happy. I'm not going to call off my engagement, I'm not going to leave my faith or church, I am not going to sit quietly as I am called hurtful things, & I'm not going to stop writing about what I go through. I know now why I am the Natasha that I am as I did then. It was not to make others happy in my defeat- but God happy in my victories!

As I leave you today I hope that you are blessed! Keep Matthew 10:16-42, 21:42 & II Timothy 3:16&17 in your heart & Spirit as you meditate! Have a wonderful Sabbath!

The Diarist
Every moment is meant to be taken in & reflected on.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device available from BTC.