Beholder

Beauty is something that a lot of persons search for within their selves, their mate, their children & the things around them. Beauty in mainstream media is something that is constantly changing- I remember growing up seeing & hearing about the "in-ness" of the waif thin model. I grew up in an era where women were constantly being told to buy new products to make them appear beautiful without much effort. A lot of the things I grew up hearing & seeing dealt with the outside never truly the inside.

The women around me I watched grow steadily more skinnier, more dolled up, more eerily perfect while I was always on the outside. When I tried to compare myself to others I always fell short. To make matters worse I grew up in a country where being of Haitian parentage made you ugly in the eyes of your peers. The things I found to be beautiful always seemed to come across as ugly.

For years I had a difficulty accepting my uniqueness, my individuality or my beauty. I could not fully understand that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. What to others was trash- God had created a treasure. One that was hidden in an earthen vessel not for me or my beautification/ edification. But for God & God alone. (But we have this treasure in clay jars to show that its extraordinary power comes from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7)

Beauty to many is the outside things, a smile, skin color, hair, the facial features- but for me daily it has become about the inside. For me to be beautiful I have to start from the outside & work my way out. It is hard to not allow myself to be swayed by the thoughts of others on how I should look, act, speak, walk, or dress. But I know that the outside is fleeting- it will come & go- but what I do for God is lasting.

I have now accepted the beauty I have in being nerdy with my glasses, the beauty I have with no make-up, the way I look in a t-shirt & jeans. To you who maybe viewing this blog beauty may not mean the seem things that it does for me. But I hope that you are happy in your definition & that it truly is yours & not the definition of someone else that you are wearing.

Keep Ecclesiastes 3:11 in your heart & Spirit.

The Diarist
{For every moment was meant to be taken in & reflected upon.}