Styles

It started with a kiss on my forehead by my fiance. I felt so good when he did. He complimented me the other day on my hair which was in a twist out (a very new style for me). My hair is really growing so I am now able to try new styles & things in it.

I had my hair twisted by my cousin then a few days later did the twist out pictured above. My makeup that day was on-point. I looked so yummy. I wore it out last weekend at my family's Valentine's Day Dinner. I felt really great dressed up. I find that as I am learning & trying new hairstyles I am also trying new styles in general. I am growing as a young woman & gaining more confidence in myself.

So tomorrow I put in some kinky twists for approximately 6 weeks to 2 months. The hairstyle should take about 6-8 hours to be placed in. As I am learning & trying more styles in my hair I have also started to look for my wedding hairstyle & my family is up in arms wanting me to straighten or add weave. My fiance wants me to wear it natural so this is when I start looking for natural hairstyles. I found one that I especially loved. It is a style by Nedjetti & I feel like it is a pretty wedding style (I wonder if my hair will look as pretty or be as long by that time.)

I am looking & searching online for more Natural Bridal hairstyles but it is hard. I want to look like a princess on that day- I want to feel stylish. What do you think of it? I will add more hairstyle options another time. I am tired so next time will be a longer edition on hair, life, love & God. Be blessed!

The Diarist
For every moment was meant to be taken in & reflected on.

Ring...

So all of you by now know that I am engaged. The one thing about me being SDA that I love is that I don't have to wear an engagement ring/ wedding band when I get married. But the hardest thing about living in this world is that everyone expects you to.

For many different reasons I just dont feel like I want or need a ring to prove to the world that he likes it/ loves me. lol. I remember when he proposed to me & I know that it was the perfect moment for me- there wasn't a dozen roses or him pulling out a ring. It was simple, it was sweet & it made me happy!

We were watching one of my favorite movies "Letter to Juliet" when he turned to me (with friends and family near by oblivious to us) and asked me to marry him. I was taken aback & my first response was "why?"

I asked him why because I already knew why I wanted to marry him but I wanted to make sure that his reasons were strong. He said to me : "Because I want to spend each day with you. I want to protect you at night when you have nightmares & I don't want to look back at this years from now with shoulda woulda coulda's."(I am sure he didn't say it exactly like this but this will have to do.)

It wasn't the most romantic proposal but I knew he meant it- he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I knew that he was serious about wanting to be my protector so I said yes! I said yes even though he wanted time to keep it to ourselves for a time. I was over the moon about it and allowed it to be this way. I knew that it would not be easy- & it hasn't been but I wouldn't take back my answer or his question for all the roses or rings in this world.

The ring is supposed to be a symbol of the commitment that a man & woman have for each other- but many times it is only just a ring. Just like how circumcision was an outward symbol of a relationship with God that after a while became nothing more than a painful religious act. If the ring of commitment isn't in our hearts like the circumcision wasn't in many hearts when Christ came to earth the marriage is for not. If a man's heart is not vested in the relationship the ring is nothing more than an expensive piece of jewelery. I don't want that- I want more than that. I have more than that- without the ring.

As I leave please keep Matthew 22:37 in your heart & spirit.

The Diarist
[For every moment was meant to be taken in & reflected upon.]

Watchers...

I hinted in my last post that I would talk about my Weight Watchers initiative. I really get depressed at times at how 'fat' I've gotten. I am no longer that bobblehead whose only issue was finding her length. Now I cannot even fit into my fat jeans I knew it was time to take measures.

 Pic of me now- too many pounds overweight.

Even at my biggest in my past years I never felt this way about my body- where I actually hate it on many days. For a long time the only thing I found beautiful about me was my figure & my eyes. Now I wear glasses due to astigmatism & comfortableness has made me fat.

 Glasses & weight are my newest contentions

My first week on Weight Watchers I lost 2 pounds which was hard cause I had to relearn from scratch things I had just stopped practicing. Watching what I ate, making time for physical activity & in general doing more to be better & feel better. The thing is with watching I noticed that I had watchers of my weight.

A much skinnier Diarist- 2008

A lot of people struggle with weight- I have for the past decade or so of my life. During this time I have had so many persons who watch my weight & the other things that change around me. Making me extra sensitive & self-conscious. What made this all harder is that everyone seems to have some advice on how/why I put on all the weight. What I really needed was support and advice on how to lose it. lol.

In my weight gain this time I learned that people are really critical of former skinny people when they put on any weight. I also learned that there were other aspects of me that was pretty/ wow worthy. The biggest thing for me was realizing that through it all I still have joy & God has in many ways humbled me. Keep Philippians 4:5-10 in your heart & spirit. But most importantly I leave you with the portion of this scripture that has become my mantra:

Philippians 4:8 (King James Version)

 ⁸Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

The Diarist
{For every moment was meant to be taken in & reflected upon...}