Love

I am engaged! I have been engaged for approximately 5 months [I'll blog about the proposal another day.] With the engagement came lots of drama with family (our parents) & even friends. It has been a lot of hurt feelings & egos in this whole episode. In my mind an engagement was the time where we both got to seriously know each other and make a choice as to whether or not we should continue this journey or call it quits. Since we got engaged there have been more call it quits moments than ever. But it normally has not been about us and how we relate to each other- it was always our two warring families.

We went to counseling Friday night & one of our counselors made the joke that we were being tugged like Romeo & Juliet. He was right. Yesterday I found out that my dad refuses to come to the wedding because my fiance and I are of different faiths, different cultures & he doesn't like him. My mom is just like in her she wants me to marry someone who is of Haitian descent. To add drama to it all his parents think he's too young and that I (independent, anxiety prone, older child that I am) will need him to take care of me. Seriously?

Marriage is not something anyone should enter in lightly. Like our counselors reminded us- this would be the beginning of a whole new life- where we would have to forsake all others. I love him a lot- but honestly do I love him enough to forsake all others on both sides? All of the opinions, all of the issues, all of the persons with their own agendas? Sometimes I really feel like no I cannot deal with it.

Then I look at him & I realize that I love him even in the midst of all of this craziness. It's like how God still continually chooses to love us even after others warn Him against it. We do not deserve it- not with the backgrounds we came from. There is so much about us that God can walk away from- but then He remembers the love He has for us & the sacrifices He made to love us & He chooses us again.

Today I choose Him again! I choose to love God freely. I choose to love my fiance freely. At times I think honestly for us to marry & be happy without anxieties and issues we may have to elope or move away from everyone. But then again God never promised we'd have love or life easy.

Loving life, loving God, loving my family & friends, Loving my fiance with my all! Keep 1 John 4 in your heart & Spirit.

The Diarist
{For every moment was meant to be taking in & reflected upon.}