Watchers...

I hinted in my last post that I would talk about my Weight Watchers initiative. I really get depressed at times at how 'fat' I've gotten. I am no longer that bobblehead whose only issue was finding her length. Now I cannot even fit into my fat jeans I knew it was time to take measures.

 Pic of me now- too many pounds overweight.

Even at my biggest in my past years I never felt this way about my body- where I actually hate it on many days. For a long time the only thing I found beautiful about me was my figure & my eyes. Now I wear glasses due to astigmatism & comfortableness has made me fat.

 Glasses & weight are my newest contentions

My first week on Weight Watchers I lost 2 pounds which was hard cause I had to relearn from scratch things I had just stopped practicing. Watching what I ate, making time for physical activity & in general doing more to be better & feel better. The thing is with watching I noticed that I had watchers of my weight.

A much skinnier Diarist- 2008

A lot of people struggle with weight- I have for the past decade or so of my life. During this time I have had so many persons who watch my weight & the other things that change around me. Making me extra sensitive & self-conscious. What made this all harder is that everyone seems to have some advice on how/why I put on all the weight. What I really needed was support and advice on how to lose it. lol.

In my weight gain this time I learned that people are really critical of former skinny people when they put on any weight. I also learned that there were other aspects of me that was pretty/ wow worthy. The biggest thing for me was realizing that through it all I still have joy & God has in many ways humbled me. Keep Philippians 4:5-10 in your heart & spirit. But most importantly I leave you with the portion of this scripture that has become my mantra:

Philippians 4:8 (King James Version)

 ⁸Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

The Diarist
{For every moment was meant to be taken in & reflected upon...}