Apple

Pick up an apple and ask practically any child in the Bahamas (over the age of 3) what it is and they can identify it. It has been so deeply ingrained what an apple looks like that we all can imagine an apple whilst reading this (event without the picture).

I was just thinking today how someday I want my name (Natasha Rufin) to be just as identifiable in the literary world at large. When you hear Rufin you think of me. How can I achieve this? Not hiding my talent (as I am oft times prone to doing). Just had to pop in to remind you not to hide your talents or your individuality. Find your identity- like the apple.

Keep Luke 11:33 in your heart & Spirit.

The Diarist

Personality

I'm growing a new personality. (He that hath ear let him hear...) Its not at all easy for me. I feel like I'm changing so much daily that my husband & I at times don't know what to expect next to happen to me. I've lost at least thirty pounds (which is ok) & I've been eating a lot more health as I've cut out the fast food & lots of junk.

Why am I doing all of this now? I truly can't answer that right now. Why wait until I'm married to begin this process? I think its all apart of me becoming one with my husband. Creating a cohesive unit that will not be broken.

Another aspect of this change that has taken time for me has been having to change my name. For the first time on Wednesday I had to fill out an application form & tick married. It was kinda weird as I am so accustomed to the single box. For now my name is hyphened but on our anniversary I'm dropping my maiden name (which is hard for me to think of doing). I've started practicing my new signature for the purpose of all the forms I have to fill out and stuff but I miss my 'NR' initials. I even had a pretty Rose that went under my name. Its a lot of changes for me to accept in what feels like so little time.

Change I have come to realize is not always bad- it can be good in so many ways. I'm allowing myself to become the woman God created me to be in this time of change. I never thought it would all go down like this- but now I realize as- I daily write my goals, as I open my heart to God's leading, as I share more- that everything happens at a certain time in all of our lives. This is my time! I'm claiming it & looking forward to all of the newness that comes with it!

Keep Ecclesiastes 3:11 in your heart & spirit today!

The Diarist
Every moment is meant to be taken in & reflected on.

Filled

Psalm 16:2, 5, 8

I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing”…

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure…

I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

My mantra for 2012 is that: “Life is FILLED with GOOD things!” I am assured of this through Christ. He is my good thing- my wonderful portion. But He has given me so many good things that I have taken for granted. I want to change the paradigm with my blog this year- it is no longer about just what I am going through- but about the good things God has blessed me with. No longer am I focusing on the giants in my life- I am now focusing on the God who has equipped me.

I am so happy- but even in my happiness there is sadness (as to be expected), and I am using my God focus to keep me floating through this. Someday I will look back at the tapestry of my life and understand how it all came together. 

This is also my year of newness- it is so much new life blossoming around me I can go on endlessly about it. I want to dance ridiculously and scream about it from the roof tops- but in time everything will be revealed. (Yes I am being cryptic again- but I have to be for now.) Until next time I hope you are blessed and that you continue looking for the good things in your life.

The Diarist

Every moment is meant to be taken in and reflected on.

Ridiculously...

It is the end of another year- and I am in awe of the amazing things God has done for me. I have completed my course with A's, I'm blessed beyond measure in my relationship, and got one very big surprise the other day. I want to spill all the beans but can't for another few weeks.

Today my readers- I am RIDICULOUSLY blessed!

Until the next time keep Job 8:21 in your heart & Spirit.

The Diarist

Today

 How do I get back there?

Today I stand here feeling unsure of where I am

Even when I tried to run away you found me.

Kept calling my name

I knew too much of what joy

Could be found in You to ever truly leave,

Here I stand- I want to move on with you 

But I am a broken vessel, 

I am dirty, I need to be cleansed.

I keep forgetting that with you there are no 'buts'

I don't know how You will turn my mess into Your glory

Why You would bless me with new life

Why would You be good to me who has not loved You properly?

Why today?

This morning all I am feeding my spirit is wonderful Christian music and it has made me think of the state that my own walk with Christ is at. There are a LOT of changes going on in my life- and this weekend was hard as it made two months since my cousin Joanna died. In every cloud in my life there has been a silver lining. Whenever I lost someone God would open the door for new connections. Today I thank Him for new connections and the blessings found in old ones.


Today there is so much I want to say- but so much that I cannot say, so I will prudently leave it here. Until the next time keep Jeremiah 29:11 in your heart & spirit.

The Diarist
For every moment is meant to be taken in and reflected on.

Nights

For the next few weeks night shifts are happening for my PCT course and as time goes by I realize that I miss the time I would spend with my fiancé. It is a hard fight to sit up each night and head into my internship. Especially nights like tonight when we only spent 30 minutes together due to his classes.

Until life is better and I don't have to work as hard we will have to get use to it I guess. I'm going to stay positive so that I don't get discouraged.

Be blessed and keep II Timothy 1:7 in your heart & Spirit.

The Diarist
Every moment is meant to be taken in & reflected on.

Excitement

My excitement cannot be contained as I pull out my uniforms, shine my shoes, and figure out how I will wear my hair. Today is my last free Sunday for about 4 weeks. Tomorrow night I start my internship as a Patient Care Technician. I'm nervous because I don't want to mess up, but excited that this is the final hurdle for this step in my life's plan.

For me, this next month will be hard as many nights I won't be able to sleep or I will be running on two hours worth of sleep. But I will get through it and celebrate with a well deserved trip to a wonderful destination sometime next year. I'm very blessed today- no matter what people may say or try & tell me.

Just stopping by to catch up. Until next time Matthew 5 for you!

The Diarist,
Every moment is meant to be taken in and reflected on.