Day by day

Every day is a new day to strive for change to form a new habit. Not the easiest thing but it is possible. Day by day as I exercise I get stronger and better. Just how I can work on physical fitness it is the same with a personal walk with Christ. Being a Christian isn't easy but working day by day puts you closer to where He wants to place you.

Challenge yourself to be better. No one else can do it for you. Start with yourself.

Until next time keep Philippians 4 in your heart and spirit.

The Diarist
For every moment is meant to be taken in and reflected on.

Stumbling

One day you sit down and realize that you have let go of the light of Faith and allowed the darkness of fear to rule your life. Instead of soaring like an eagle you are trapped in your nest afraid to fly even though where you are now isn't comfortable. How did you get from walking confidently towards your God ordained destiny and stumbling around in the dark?

Fear - False Evidence Appearing Real
Faith - the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things unseen (Hebrews 11:1)

When you live a life of fear everything that can go wrong does because it is all that you see. Faith filled living looks towards the good. When you speak good that is what you get.

I have been stumbling for what feels like years through life. My confidence in myself and my dreams had dwindled and snuffed out. The embodiment of spring that was my optimism was gone. I could no longer believe in the unseen. I believed in God but not really in His promises. I was still a Christian but a poor one at that.

It's hard living like this. It brings on a spirit of depression that only fully reaffirming your faith can heal. It took a long time after realizing what was happening to even believe truthfully in me again. I didn't realize that the God I believed in loved me enough to help me out of this mess.

2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that we are to live in love not fear. Living in love means living in faith. I am just truly coming to see how it works. It means not letting anyone or anything that is not of God to speak into your life. This can be truly hard as we live in a negative world.

Until next time keep 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 KJV

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

The Diarist
For every moment was meant to be taken in and reflected upon...

My Story, My Dreams, My Thanks!

Everyone has a story. In each story there are protagonists, and antagonists- and in every story are the background characters who would be the friends or alliances of the main characters. Friendships can make or break you. My story is filled with friends and acquaintances who have taught me so much about myself and who I am. I know that it is all because of God. 

And friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say never

'Cause the welcome will not end

 

My story is one of a girl who is too logical to be a dreamer but in her deepest recesses she is one and dearly wants to be released. Through her friendships she is learning and has learned that dreams are real and they can and will come true. My friends have taught me so much. I look at our lives and realize we are growing in our destinies. I realize that my deepest fears were just that. You can fall in love, get married, get 'fat', and be your worst self- yet still have a man who loves even the smallest part of you. You can go through an all out war due to some serious misunderstandings where all sides disrespect each other and end up having a close relationship with in-laws that rival and at times surpass the ones you have with your family. (Sorry Mrs. T for hurting you. I do love you and look to you like a mom!)

My friends have inspired me to work at my dreams. I have a dream of someday writing and publishing my own novel. I'm working on that dream now. One of my dreams is to learn how to sew. My dream project is the picture of the yellow dress below but for now I am working on a simple yet elegant two piece for an upcoming wedding. My friend Olivia is teaching me how to sew. I am working hard at emptying myself of my dreams so I can start new ones.

To my friends, my family and my in-laws- I thank God for you. You inspire me to be more and do more. I know I can do it all because of you! Keep Ecclesiastes 4:12 in your hearts and spirits.

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." [Ecclesiastes 4:12. NLT]

~The Diarist~

Every moment is meant to be taken in and reflected on.

Update (Of sorts)

Hello bloggers everywhere! Keep Praying, keep hoping keep believing!

That's all I want to say. It's been a long time and a lot has happened- will come to update you soon! Keep in your hearts and spirits Matthew 5.

~ The Diarist

Natasha

Apple

Pick up an apple and ask practically any child in the Bahamas (over the age of 3) what it is and they can identify it. It has been so deeply ingrained what an apple looks like that we all can imagine an apple whilst reading this (event without the picture).

I was just thinking today how someday I want my name (Natasha Rufin) to be just as identifiable in the literary world at large. When you hear Rufin you think of me. How can I achieve this? Not hiding my talent (as I am oft times prone to doing). Just had to pop in to remind you not to hide your talents or your individuality. Find your identity- like the apple.

Keep Luke 11:33 in your heart & Spirit.

The Diarist

Personality

I'm growing a new personality. (He that hath ear let him hear...) Its not at all easy for me. I feel like I'm changing so much daily that my husband & I at times don't know what to expect next to happen to me. I've lost at least thirty pounds (which is ok) & I've been eating a lot more health as I've cut out the fast food & lots of junk.

Why am I doing all of this now? I truly can't answer that right now. Why wait until I'm married to begin this process? I think its all apart of me becoming one with my husband. Creating a cohesive unit that will not be broken.

Another aspect of this change that has taken time for me has been having to change my name. For the first time on Wednesday I had to fill out an application form & tick married. It was kinda weird as I am so accustomed to the single box. For now my name is hyphened but on our anniversary I'm dropping my maiden name (which is hard for me to think of doing). I've started practicing my new signature for the purpose of all the forms I have to fill out and stuff but I miss my 'NR' initials. I even had a pretty Rose that went under my name. Its a lot of changes for me to accept in what feels like so little time.

Change I have come to realize is not always bad- it can be good in so many ways. I'm allowing myself to become the woman God created me to be in this time of change. I never thought it would all go down like this- but now I realize as- I daily write my goals, as I open my heart to God's leading, as I share more- that everything happens at a certain time in all of our lives. This is my time! I'm claiming it & looking forward to all of the newness that comes with it!

Keep Ecclesiastes 3:11 in your heart & spirit today!

The Diarist
Every moment is meant to be taken in & reflected on.

Filled

Psalm 16:2, 5, 8

I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing”…

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure…

I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

My mantra for 2012 is that: “Life is FILLED with GOOD things!” I am assured of this through Christ. He is my good thing- my wonderful portion. But He has given me so many good things that I have taken for granted. I want to change the paradigm with my blog this year- it is no longer about just what I am going through- but about the good things God has blessed me with. No longer am I focusing on the giants in my life- I am now focusing on the God who has equipped me.

I am so happy- but even in my happiness there is sadness (as to be expected), and I am using my God focus to keep me floating through this. Someday I will look back at the tapestry of my life and understand how it all came together. 

This is also my year of newness- it is so much new life blossoming around me I can go on endlessly about it. I want to dance ridiculously and scream about it from the roof tops- but in time everything will be revealed. (Yes I am being cryptic again- but I have to be for now.) Until next time I hope you are blessed and that you continue looking for the good things in your life.

The Diarist

Every moment is meant to be taken in and reflected on.